Last. Blog. of. Russia.

omg let's not even talk about it.

Good thing I left the hostel so early, as I’m now sitting here at the airport completely checked in almost 3 hours before my plane leaves. Everyone always says you have to leave early and it does NOT TAKE THAT LONG. Maybe if it’s a day when a lot of people fly. I don’t think Tuesday is that day.

So where did I leave off? I think I talked about Yaroslavl. Anyway after that I came back and had dinner at the Starlite Diner. AKA the BEST PLACE EVER. Like, I love Moscow, and would really like to live there, and the Starlite Diner just clinched it for me. Like, it’s JUST LIKE AMERICA. EXCEPT IN RUSSIA. And even BETTER. Like, if I’m ever in Moscow again, and just like…I could really go for some America right now…ALL I have to do is go there. It’s all like 50s diner decorated with the stuff on the wall and the barstools and everything. And they were playing AMERICAN CHRISTMAS CAROLS. AHHHHHH. I WAS SO HAPPY. Bing Crosby was playing. I could not have been happier. And then they had all the regular diner stuff (except their 24 hr breakfast menu left something to be desired, but that’s okay) AND something called….a Bailey’s Milkshake. BEST THING EVER. Would we have something like that in America? I don’t know but it was pretty fantastic. OMG. I was having one of those moments where I was just like “I’m……so……happy….right….now…..”

Came back and hung around. Think I talked about this already, actually, right? Maybe? Maybe not. Well the next day I got up and went to the History of Moscow Museum, which was moderately interesting. Then I went to the Modern History Museum (of Russia) which was INSANE. This was, like, the Tretyakov Gallery of Modern Russian History. They had like 36 rooms (they call them “zals”). The Tretyakov Gallery has like 61. The History of Moscow Museum had three. I was there for over 3 hours and could have been there for WAY longer. So then I had planned to go to the WW2 museum, but at that point I only would have had an hour there and was pretty worn out. So I decided to go to the Tretyakov Gallery instead. Both a good and a bad choice.

So I got there and had another “Russian Museum moment”, where I went into what looked like a main entrance of the building, which was actually just a private, separate exhibition. But I went to buy a ticket, looked at the Russian student price, got exact change, and gave the woman my money and my student ID at the same time. So she opened it and looked at it for a LONG time and I was like, oh man, she’s going to tell me I’m a foreigner and have to pay three times as much, and this is going to be a nightmare because then I’m going to argue with her in my broken Russian and it was so cold out so my mouth doesn’t form words and there are people behind me and ahhhh. And then she looks up and smiles and says “you get in free today! It’s the first Sunday of the month!” and hands me a ticket. Oh man. How amazing was that.

So I looked through the, like, 3 room exhibition they had and then tried to find the entrance to the actual Tretyakov Gallery. Then I was very intimidated because police officers were blocking the entrance. So I sort of paced around in the cold until they left. Then I saw a sign that said it was open until 7:30, not 6:30 like I thought! It was only 4:45 at that point so I had sooo much time. Then I went in to buy a ticket. And stood in line for like 10 mins. And I showed the woman my ID and she looked at it for a long long time. And told me I had to pay 100 rubles. And I told her no, the price on the wall said 50 rubles. And she said no, because I was clearly an exchange student. And I said no, I’m a student at a Russian university and they told me I pay the same price that Russian students pay. And we had this argument and it was awkward because there were all these people waiting in line and I almost walked away and then realized that I really wanted to see the Tretyakov Gallery and so I just paid the 100 rubles. The worst thing is that I should have been in free here too.

So then I stood in the most awful coat check line ever. I was seriously standing there for 30 or 35 mins. It’s not that hard. You take the person’s coat and then give them a number. But everyone was waiting SO long and these woman were just old and sitting around. Seriously. Only half of them were working. One girl tried to give this woman her coat and the woman was like “No, I only give coats back, I don’t take them.” Like, seriously?! There are about 6,000 people here and none of them are trying to RETRIEVE their coat. Then they were talking to each other a lot and not working. These were seriously the most obnoxious 60 year old women I had ever seen. So then the girl in front of me had no little hook thing on her coat and needed a hanger. And they had a box of them right near the counter for that purpose. So the girl asks if she could use a hanger and the woman says “I don’t do that” and then takes my coat. Like, seriously? You can’t grab a hanger from behind you and hang it up? I would have yelled at her had I wanted to use my broken Russian. But I felt it was better for her to stand up for herself as she actually has a grasp on the language. Being a native, and all.

So at that point I was pretty bitter and hating the Tretyakov Gallery before I had even seen any of the art. But then as I went on it was really cool. And since there were SO many people there and it’s pretty big, you can sort of breeze through without anyone looking at you like you’re a heathen for not examining and appreciating every single piece of artwork there. Which is excellent, because my art attention span is pretty low. So I looked at the stuff I liked, and just sort of glanced at the stuff I didn’t. It was really cool to actually see a lot of those paintings that I had seen so often, but never up close. For example, the painting of Ivan the Terrible and his Son, or the portrait of Dostoevsky. I dunno. Just cool stuff like that. I actually really like art galleries because nothing is ever the same in a book. It all looks really cool up close but in a book I’m just sort of like….eh.

So then I went to the gift shop and got a puzzle of one of the paintings. Put it together later that night. Found it very enjoyable. Denis sort of laughed at me but that’s okay. I also got a poster of bears. They weren’t dancing, just climbing, but I thought it was really necessary.

So then I sought out the Moo-Moo café on Tverskaya Boulevard. And this is a HUGE road. And a lot of time they don’t have crosswalks or lights, you just have to find a metro station or an underground crossing. So I was on the wrong side of the street when I found it but COULD NOT FIND an underground crosswalk. Like, it was right there, so close, and yet so far. But eventually I found one. I suppose it made the Moo-Moo quest that much more exciting.

So I had my regular borsht, tea, and a little bread thing. Okay, so here’s something to rant about (related, promise). In Russia they ALWAYS want you to have small bills. Like, anywhere in America, even if you paid with a 50 it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. If you’re paying for anything under, like, 700 rubles with a 1000 ruble bill here, it’s like a catastrophe (that’s like paying for something that’s almost $30 with a $40 bill…NOT a big deal). So my little meal was 120 rubles (almost $5). All I had was a 500 ruble bill (like a $20 bill). This is fine. I figured anything over 100 rubles is fine with a 500 ruble bill. In America ANYTHING would be fine with a 20. Even though I always apologize if it’s something less than, like $5, but then all the service people always smile and tell me it’s fine and are so nice because it’s America and they understand capitalism and friendliness. Anyway, I digress. So I go to pay and the girl has, like, a mini fit. With lots of deep sighing and “don’t you have anything smaller?” And I tell her I don’t. And she just sits there. And I don’t do anything. And she’s like, “well, I can’t change that.” (as in, make change for it, give me change…how do you say that in English?). And I tell her that I don’t have anything else so she’s going to have to do something (you CAN’T tell me that in the entire Moo-Moo café they don’t have $15 in change. I just don’t believe it.) So she sat there and looked at me and did lots of sighing and finally took my 500 bill and gave me change. I KNEW SHE COULD. I KNEW IT WAS POSSIBLE. Then the little caramel she gave me with my receipt was smushed and I resented her for it.

So I ended up going to bed really late (but finished my puzzle!). Decided that I wanted my last day in Moscow to be sort of calm. So I almost went to a bunch of museums but decided that I didn’t have the energy, so I just wandered the city, which was quite nice. Especially Arbat. Did some souvenir shopping, found some that I really really liked. There are ridiculous people. Especially sketchy men at souvenir stands. There was this one guy from Georgia (the country, not the state). And this other Russian guy. Don’t want to go into it but I was just like…..eeeeelllghhhchchhh. Also I wanted to buy this particular martrushka doll from this guy. He told me it was 900 rubles. I said this was ridiculous and that the guy one stand over would sell me one just like it for 400 (which was actually not true, he had said 500). Then the seller told me that that may be true, but the painting on this doll was better (actually, that was true. But not 500 rubles better). So I just stood there as he kept lowering the price. And didn’t say anything. And when he got to 450, and sort of paused longer than usual, I said okay. Haggling on Arbat is ridiculous. There was also this woman that I was buying a hat from…and she was like “it’s 1200 rubles. But we could probably go lower.” So then I asked if we could go lower and she says “sure, what do you want to pay?” Like, seriously?

Then I was in this store talking to these women who were asking me about studying in Russia. This one was really annoying, actually, I kept telling her that I was just looking and she kept showing me EVERYTHING. And then saying that she could give it to me for x rubles. And I kept telling her I was just looking. And she wouldn’t shut up. And I was like WOMAN LEAVE ME ALONE. I didn’t actually say that, but I wanted to. So later they were asking me about studying abroad and everything and sort of…not really talking down to me, but talking to me like I was way younger. And then they’re like “…so have you tried vodka?” and I’m like “Yea….” And they start laughing and looking surprised and doing the “Ух, ты!” that Russians so often do. And then asked me how old I was and looked very surprised when I said 20. Do I really look that young? I don’t think so. Someone in mom’s office also once told me I looked like I was, like, 15. I don’t believe them.

FOUND A BLINI PLACE ACROSS THE STREET FROM MY HOSTEL. When did that happen? Why did that not happen earlier? Then wanted to know how many meals I had left in Russia, and how many of them could take place there. I was sad that they didn’t have the “Teaspoon” restaurant in Moscow, like they do in St. Petersburg, but Teremok is even BETTER. Well, they have better blini, I think. “Teaspoon” has better tea. And maybe jam. But they don’t have banana-chocolate or wild berry blini. Oh man.

So then later I had dinner with Nolan and Betsy from language school. I had SO MUCH FUN. I hadn’t really ever talked to Betsy, but she was so cool. I had so much fun. Her friend was visiting too. Nolan made borsht, we had all kinds of Russian things (vinigrette (is that how you would transliterate it?), stewed cabbage, salad with mayonnaise (but VERY little, so I could sort of scrape it off and eat it), borsht.) Honey chili vodka which was VERY strange. Watched some excellent youtube videos which I can’t wait to show everyone at home. OMG. I had a great time. Even though I’m an idiot and got on the wrong metro line to get there, ending up at “Sokol” station instead of “Sokolniki” station. And was then like 45 mins late. But it all ended up okay.

Mitt Romney is on TV right now in this little airport café bar. I need to catch up on all of that once I’m back.

I am so sad I’m leaving. Got up this morning, took a shower, had some blini. Denis carried my gigantic suitcase down the stairs for me, which I am so grateful for, and was amazed he could actually do (he’s sort of skinny). Gave me a hug and told me to come back. I said I would when I need to find an apartment in Moscow (which Betsy told me is not possible to do unless I’m actually HERE. Finding one from America is not so…well, possible). Anyway, I am so sad. Like, SO sad. I hope I have this moment of clarity when I’m home, where I’m like “I NEED to go back” or “I’ll be okay here”. I’d like to get a job in Moscow after graduation. Or maybe grad school. Or maybe in Irkutsk. I guess we’ll see.

So now I only have 1 hour left until my flight. I’m really tired because I didn’t sleep enough. That’s probably better, though, because then I’ll sleep on the plane.

Customs was only a little more intense than it was coming over. As in, now we had to put our baggage through a little screener thing instead of just walking through. In other words, we went through security. Which is what you usually do. So customs didn’t really exist at all.

I’m off to find a wifi card so I can post this and download all kinds of Russian music from this site Nolan gave me. My next entry will probably be posted when I’m in America. THAT is weird. And it’ll probably be all about culture shock.

Also I remember when I came being like “this airport is sort of…..elllchhkik….” and now I’m like “this place is SO nice, what a GREAT airport!” I feel like JFK is going to feel like…the Winter Palace, or something. Sorry, that’s an awful analogy.

P.S. Allie-A chupa chup is a sucker. But I bought a GIGANTIC one. I can still eat it, but now it's just like pieces of candy instead of a giant sucker, which was much cooler.