I'm sorry these posts are so long.

What I do is I write them in Word when I'm in my room, and then just copy paste them. So one entry usually spans a couple of days (or more like a day and a half). Also a lot of it is just my ramblings and observations, not really all that exciting.

So, whenever I don’t know how to say something in Russian, I either a) just write the English word, but in Cyrillic, or b) somehow create a verb (from an English verb or noun) by adding the ending –овать. This is really not at all humorous (though it is effective), but it never ceases to amuse me. For example, yesterday in Café Fiesta Sonya met some Russian guy (who was also using the free wi-fi, the first actual Russian I’ve ever heard of doing that-most of the time it’s all of the foreigners), and he said that we should all meet up with his friends tonight. Unfortunately, he still has yet to text Sonya. I told her this was unfortunate, because I so wanted to клубовать (from the Russian word клуб, or club, and the verb ending –овать, successfully creating a Russian verb from English words-the verb meaning “to go clubbing”. This is actually true, as the verbs “plan-ovat” (to plan), “reccomendir-ovat” (to recommend), and other such verbs are actually verbs in Russian). The moral of the story is, I was actually laughing out loud as I wrote клубовать, and am still stumped as to why the forming of fake Russian verbs is so hilarious to me. This is a joke that never seems to get old.

Also, it’s probably a good idea that we aren’t going clubbing, seeing as this is something I’ve never done in the US, and not really something I would ever want to do ever. I have neither the clothes nor the attitude for clubbing. Also I’ve never been out of the apartment after dark (let’s not lie, after dinner even), and am not really planning on starting now.

The other day in Baikal class we learned that the Siberians used to ride moose (as a side note I really, really, really dislike the fact that the plural of moose is, indeed, moose. I always feel as if I’m speaking incorrectly when I refer to moose in the plural). If I’m not mistaken, they were used for both domestic and military purposes. Of course, we easily could be mistaken (which is common, and much more likely than us actually understanding the lecture). I think this is fantastic. We also discussed other animals in Baikal. When he asked us what something was, Eddie would put his hands behind his head and illustrate what the animal’s ears, or antlers, looked like in order to convey the meaning. This is also something that never ceases to be funny. Actually, our inability to speak Russian never really ceases to be funny. When I think about it I laugh, therefore I try not to think about it in class; however, it is most apparent when I’m in class. It’s an awful cycle, really.

My host mother and daughter (also Natasha, but she doesn’t live with us) left for China yesterday. They will be returning next Saturday (I think?) but I’ll still be on our group trip to Ulan-Ude. I was (not going to lie) quite relieved, thinking that this meant I wouldn’t have to eat as much. I was sorely mistaken. My 25 year old host sister, Nadya, feeds me just as much and tells me just as frequently how poorly I eat. I have, in fact, started lying and telling them that I eat gigantic lunches every day after class when, in fact, I don’t. I need to keep this in check, however, because I don’t want them to think that I’m eating out because I don’t want to eat their food. It’s really quite good, just not in hulk-sized portions.

Alex Gym is being renovated. I went yesterday and the main desk is now at the top of the steps. (I don’t know if I mentioned that the first day Sonya and I tried to go we actually ended up leaving without going in because we couldn’t find the door. It turned out it was where all the construction was taking place. We thought, “this can’t possibly be the door to the gym.” It was. Anyway, onward.) Everything is being ripped apart. In the time it took me to work out (approximately one hour) an entire wall was torn down. Also when I first arrived Sasha #1 gave me this look as if he was really confused, pointed to the tanning bed (as in, is that why you’re here?) and then I think something clicked and he understood. In fact, the first day we went to buy passes they gave us very strange looks for about 5 seconds and then realized that we were not, in fact, Russians. I guess only foreign girls work out at Alex Gym? Who knows. All of the Russian guys that I have seen working out there are strangely lanky and do all kinds of weird exercises. One of my worst habits is judging people in the gym. When I’m working out I’m always self conscious about whether or not someone is watching me and thinking “Oh my God, I’m currently looking at the most unathletic girl ever.” A) I know this is not true b) I am that person. I watch people in the gym and judge them based on how they’re exercising. This makes me both a hypocrite and a horrible person.

The treadmill is still awful, but I’m pretty sure if I can master it it’ll get me into good shape (since running on it is, like, impossible). Actually, Sonya mastered the treadmill on the first day and made it look easy. She is a runner and in much better shape than I am, but I really need to work on not being so pathetic.

My host sister just pointed out that the cartoon Ice Age is on TV. I am beyond thrilled. I’m pretty sure she thinks I’m like four, because a) I speak Russian like a four year old and b) I have a strange obsession with cartoons.

I had my first “culture shock” moment yesterday. I was sort of wondering when it was going to happen and just waiting for it. I was coming back from the gym and supposed to meet Lyonya and Eddie at the movies at 3:30. Well, I ended up sitting on the marshrutka for an absurdly long time, and by the time I got off at my stop it was already 3:25. The original plan was me to go back to my apartment, have tea, and have my host mother explain where the theatre was located. I figured I’d just go straight to the theatre (as I didn’t want to drink tea or eat more), so I called her and let her know that. She completely freaks out, telling me she’s coming to meet me in the middle of the street or something. She then insists that I come back. Upon my return, I tell her that I’m supposed to meet Lyonya like, now, and she tells me that I still have time because the movie doesn’t start till four and I can make it there in 10 mins. She then forces me to drink tea and refuses to let me leave until I’ve finished all of it. Getting her to not make me eat was maybe the hardest thing ever. I lied and told her that after the gym I can’t eat for awhile or else I’ll get sick. I don’t know where the logic in that statement is but she seemed to accept it. I then had to walk very quickly in the rain, while my calves hurt from working out (the calf situation has not improved any in the last 8 months) and splattering mud all over the back of my just cleaned pair of jeans. I also hate being late, and it was taking me significantly more than 10 mins to get there. I also didn’t get to stop at the ATM, which I needed to do. I realize that none of this is actually a big deal, there are things much worse than being forced to drink tea and being only 3 minutes early, as opposed to 30. I suppose my patience had just worn thin and my newly found lack of independence became especially apparent to me.

Anyway, we saw the movie Mongol. It was good and had little dialogue, making it very understandable. I thought it was quite good and artistic. Right now Natasha’s cat, Jesse, is rolling all over my foot. Natasha brought her over last night. She’ll be staying with us while they’re in China. Chucha was in heat last week, and now Karrina and Jesse are in heat right now. Although Karrina is much more lovable and not biting and clawing all the time, she and Jesse are really quite loud.

Not that I expected Ray Romano to be able to speak Russian, but something is definitely not right about “Ice Age” when Ray Romano is not the giant woolly mammoth.

So, my host mother and sister are in China. Nadya has spoken with them on the phone 8 times since they left 24 hours ago. That’s an average of once every three hours. Twice before the flight left (after she returned from the airport with them), and then 6 times today. If I had that much contact with someone, I think I’d be homicidal (which is why I am completely antisocial and will never be able to handle any level of relationship with someone that requires me being with them for more than a few short hours of the day). They are going to China for a week and have already spoken 8 times. I am living in Russia for five months and have spoken with my parents on the phone twice. Maybe three times. To each his own, I suppose.

So, this is an absurd concern, I realize, but still significant (I think). I don’t have eye makeup remover, so whenever I remove my mascara I sort of try to strip it from my eyelashes without getting it all over my face and looking like a raccoon. However, every once in awhile I pull out some eyelashes. I’m afraid that I’m going to do this so often that soon I won’t have any. I am thinning my herd of eyelashes. Can that happen? How quickly do they grow back? Mom, I know you and the entire Independence Surgery Center are reading this. Please ask the closest medical hair growth professional and report back.

So, Russian television. Have I talked about this already? I’ve probably already talked about Tatianin Den (where there are two Tatianas, in love with one Sergei, lots of crying, and a plot that includes prison, illegitimate children, and attempts to poison Tatiana to death). In the morning I watch music videos, because I figured this would be my best link to Russian music. This was an incorrect assumption, as most of the time they play American music videos by groups and singers that are not very good. One of the music videos had a bunch of people in a hotel and 3 rappers having a dance-off in the hallway with 3 cartoon characters (like, the people in the suits at Disney World). I decided that soccer would be a good choice, as it is not absurd, and can be watched in any language.

Also Sonya just told me that Alex Gym no longer has a place to change or shower (well, for the girls anyway). She had to change in the tanning bed room. I want to go, but that’s more or less very discouraging.

I think I found a mainstream class. It’s this class on Russian history. All of us Middleburians are in it together (as we are required to find a mainstream class). The professor said that she has American students coming to her every year (probably because she’s on a list of recommended professors). There is no exam. We understood about 4% of the lecture. Ivan, Eddie, and Sonya were really ambitious and tried to take notes at first. Their notes consist of a number of dates and words with question marks, not really connected to anything. I just tried to listen and understand. Then I played sudoku. All of the Russian students were talking and laughing and passing notes, as well as taking short breaks to stare at us. Since in the Russian universities they have “groups”, where one group is basically a major and takes all the same classes (therefore they are together all the time), it is blatantly obvious when there are new people in the class. They spent a long time staring at us. We spent a moderate amount of time staring back. It doesn’t really help that we squished all four of us into the desk/bench that is meant for absolutely no more than 3 (I am in fact the one to blame, as I was the last one to squish in, and insisted that we stick together). I’m also still looking at a math class. It all depends on what will count as credits at Middlebury. If I can take math as a distribution requirement, I’ll probably take that mainstream class. But if I do that, I’ll want to keep Siberian History to count it towards the history major. The mainstream class could probably also count towards my major, but then I wouldn’t have the distribution requirement. I’m really undecided about whether or not I want to drop Siberian History or Russian Film. Granted, both of these do sound very interesting, but…not so much. We have a lot of reading in history, which means I spend a ridiculous amount of time translating text that I could read in 15 mins if I had it in English. This is information that I could easily read and absorb in English, and it’s not really helping my Russian skills to just sit for hours on end translating words like “woolly mammoth” and “nomad”. This time could be much better spent, well, interacting with Russians. On the other hand, our film professor works exclusively with international students, and I think he thinks that we don’t understand anything at all. He gives us these handouts to read that literally go scene by scene and explain the whole movie. He then spends AT LEAST an hour going one by one and explaining them all over again, after we’ve already read them and understand what’s going on. We then sit there and watch the movie, and are not at all motivated to pay close attention because a) we already know what happens and b) we don’t really understand that much at all. The first film we watched was three hours long and one of the more painful experiences of my life. The next film we’re watching is Sobache Sertze (Heart of a Dog), which we watched in summer school (where Svetlana Igorovna would stop the film literally every 30 seconds to ask us what they just said. When we didn’t know (which was always), we watched it again), makes me want to fake my own death in the next 48 hours.

The cats are at war. Karrina and Chucha usually get along fairly well, but then there’s this new cat here, so I guess the friendly balance is thrown off and now they’re all fighting with each other. Chucha just attacked Jesse, and Jesse flew off of this armchair (like literally 20 seconds ago). I’ve never seen a cat so airborne. Also one of them peed on my bed last night (I would say Jesse, but Karrina has been fairly territorial over my room). That was less than pleasant.

Also I saw a pack of rabid cats today on my way to the cafe. That only happens like, once a week.