My power cord to my computer broke. This is sad, and means that I can't use it right now and don't know when I'll be able to again.

There was a lot more I wanted to write, but can't remember right now.

Dear Jenna: I love you, I'm sorry I didn't call you on Monday, but will call soon I promise.

Ha. I can't figure out how to purchase things in Russia.

Today Sonya and I were in the аптека. She was looking for…I don’t remember, but I was looking for lotion. If you think this is an easy process, you are sorely mistaken (last time we were in Бонус trying to find detergent we bought liquid fabric softener). Shampoo, conditioner, and body wash are easy enough to find. But evidently there are many different kinds of lotions. They have lotion-tonic (I think it’s a mixture between lotion and toner). It’s also hard to tell what is lotion and what is one of 10 products in some sort of skin care line. I can’t really figure out cosmetics in English, I have no idea why I thought I would be able to handle this in Russian. The closest thing I could find was “elbow butter”, and while I was sure what that was, I really just wanted normal average lotion. So I saw this small bottle of something that was creamy and made with aloe and green tea. Are there things other than lotion made with aloe and green tea? It also didn’t say anything about washing on the bottle, which was a plus. Anyway, after about 20 minutes of trying to figure out what it was, I bought it. I just used some on my hands and it smells very good. But I asked my host sister whether or not it was lotion, and evidently it isn’t. She tried to explain to me what it was (this is a very complicated product, obviously) and all I got out of it was maybe it’s makeup remover (she said the word “makeup” a lot, but it has a fairly strong scent, which makes me think it would hurt A LOT if you got it in your eye, which is likely if you’re removing makeup), you use it on your face, and it is not lotion. After about 3 minutes of this I pretended that I understood and walked away. I’ll just go for the elbow butter next time, at least I know it’s some sort of moisturizer. In the meantime, I think I’ll just pretend that this product is lotion.

Also I ate dinner alone tonight because Nadya had some sort of shaping class and wasn’t going to be home until 8. I could have waited until 8 to eat but she INSISTED that I eat as soon as I get home. This was nice, as I could eat a normal sized dinner. After this I went to Café Fiesta and had some hot chocolate. I was only planning on being there for a half hour, but they gave me an hour of free internet, so I felt that I had to use it. When I was walking back it was dusk (not even dark), and I was somewhere in the range of slightly neurotic to moderately uneasy. This makes me think that being out of the apartment after dark is a very bad idea. Also Sonya’s host mother’s sister asked her why she never goes clubbing. Another Russian girl last week also asked us if we had gone clubbing yet. Evidently this is the thing to do in Russia.

Sorry, I got off track. I was talking about food, which is naturally a popular topic of conversation, both in this blog and in my daily life. Anyway, so I was leaving Café Fiesta and feeling not stuffed full of food, just satisfied, which is A WONDERFUL FEELING. So then I got home and Nadya asked me if I was going to have tea (yes, obviously). I don’t know why every single time I assume that I can just have tea, because food ALWAYS accompanies tea (in fact, once when my host mother came home and asked if I had tea and I said yes, she asked what I had tea with. I was confused, saying that I just had tea, and she was confused, because I just drank tea). Anyway, one would think that I would have caught on by now.

Nadya: Do you want a сырок?
Natasha: No, thank you.
Nadya: (lays the сырок in front of me) Eat.

Nadya: This stuff that I left out for you for breakfast, do you like it? Did you eat it?
Natasha: Yes, I thought it was very good. It reminds me of пасха.
Nadya: Yes! It’s really similar. And very good on white bread. (She lays it in front of me, and proceeds to slice 3 pieces of bread). Eat.

(There is a silence as we watch TV)
Nadya: (looks at the plate of пырок. Then points to it) Eat.

Nadya: Are you hungry? I can fry up some chicken for you.
Natasha: No, thank you.
Nadya: Or pilmeni.
Natasha: That’s okay, thanks anyway though.

(Natasha has a small piece of cookie and puts a little bit of jam on it. Nadya then proceeds to push the jam bowl next to my plate.) (This is actually just what Eddie was talking about. I guess whenever he eats, and his host family members walk by, they always push the other plates of food closer to his own until all of the plates of food on the table are right next to his own.) I almost laughed out loud when Nadya did that.

(Natasha thanks Nadya for the tea, gets up from the table, and goes to do homework.)
Nadya: Natasha. There are apples and bananas in the living room. Eat.

And so on, and so forth.

Yogurt in Russia has an expiration date of like, December. This worries me a bit. It tastes okay, but our yogurt tastes okay too and it expires like 2 weeks after you buy it. Does Russian yogurt also go bad that early, and they just lie about it? What is it about Russian yogurt that makes it last so long? This worries me. My head must be completely empty, as this is what I think about while I’m walking down the street. Eddie has these thoughts about music, or life, or the world. Sarah writes about all kinds of important things (being in Div school, and all). I think about the expiration date of yogurt. And my thinning eyelashes.

More thoughts. Also not interesting.

Ice cream stands are everywhere in Russia. I don’t know if I’ve talked about this already. I’ve clearly thought about it often, as you can usually find one every hundred yards or so. There are also large numbers of shoe repair shops/kiosks. I would say that those two kinds of kiosks are most prevalent here in Irkutsk. In fact, there is a dual ice cream/shoe repair kiosk right across from the university. People often have to ask whether we’re in line for ice cream or shoes.

Sonya told me that the moose were not actually used for military purposes. Stalin had wanted to use them to have people travel on mooseback into the United States through Canada. I have no idea whether or not this is true as it is completely ridiculous. At any rate, the entire conversation, and Russia as a whole, is fairly ridiculous, therefore I’m not going to try to come to any conclusions about it.

So my host mother has been buying things that I like to eat, like these little cream bars and candies and hot chocolate. Which is very nice of her. I know that Middlebury pays them for food and housing, and assured us that they were being given more than enough money, but I can’t help but feel as if maybe I am this huge expense. This isn’t really making sense. But I fear that the foods I like are also the most expensive. I don’t think this is true, given the fact that these are things they already had in the house and that I eat pretty much anything they give me. But anyway, I went to the сентральный рынок (central market, I guess you could call it) and was very relieved to find that packets of hot chocolate are only 5 rubles each (about 20 cents). I decided that I wanted to replenish the stash. I was originally going to buy 10, but figured that would be too obvious, so I only bought four and placed them with the other hot chocolate packets. I feel a little less guilty now. I wonder how long it will be before they realize something’s up (as in, we’re all drinking hot chocolate but the number of packets never really seem to decrease). I suppose I’ll keep the replenishing under control. Food here is a major source of stress, I don’t know if I’ve conveyed that already or not. Sarcasm online is really difficult.

I also really like walking around the сентральный рынок. They have pretty much everything there, and you can just walk around and look and be anonymous. Of course, it’s more like a lot of kiosks (because naturally, you have to ASK for everything in Russia. You can’t just go and pick up some things like at a grocery store). I’m serious. Literally everything you would ever want is behind a glass case.

I’d quite like a cup of hot chocolate right now, but I also want to add a little bit of milk. I know that I’m allowed to open the unopened packet of milk, and it’s okay (especially considering that I don’t really drink any here, so I very rarely consume any of their milk), but I’m hesitant for some reason (see above paragraph about food guilt). Oh, did I mention the kind of milk they have here? Normally at home I would say I’m a skim milk person. Sometimes 1% or 2%. Here they have like, 4% and 6%. It’s like half and half. I can’t even drink whole milk at home because it’s too much for me.

I have located the sports channel (7) which is now my favorite channel to watch. It requires minimal language proficiency and sports happen to be one of my favorite things in general. I am, however, confused as to how the channel 7 in the kitchen is not the same as the channel 7 in the living room. They are both supposed to be the Russian sports channel, but this morning, channel 7 sports in the kitchen was showing a field hockey game, while channel 7 sports in the living room was showing a soccer game.

Alex Gym is undergoing even more renovations. There is no longer a women’s changing room (have I talked about this?), and numerous walls have been torn down. I’m not entirely sure what it is they’re doing, but whatever. All of this construction started literally 2 days after we bought our passes (well, there was construction and painting upstairs, but there’s nothing up there-I just figured that was some other store or space or something). While Alex Gym itself is improving, I am still a pathetic mess in all aspects of athletics and weight training.

In other news, our grammar teacher was able to sell us tickets to a sold out show at some theatre. We’re going with a bunch of German international students. Yay! I’m really quite excited. It’d be nice to have friends outside of our little American group. I think I might be taking two mainstream classes too, so I guess that doubles my chance of making Russian friends (now we’re at like, .04% as opposed to .02%). AND today for the first time on the marshrutka I called out “next, please” (you have to say either “next, please”, “at the stop, please” or the name of the next stop, etc, if you want to get out). Well, I’ve done this before but only when I’m sitting like right next to/behind the driver, or when there’s no one else in the marshrutka (well, maybe 1 or 2). But today, I was all the way in the back, and there were a bunch of people, and I said it anyway. And no one stared at me, which was fabulous.

I am trying to download the entire Middlebury course catalog onto my computer so I can figure out classes and credits and whatnot for next semester. A) October is a bit early to be doing this b) as if I need more ways to procrastinate. I don’t consider watching TV procrastinating though, because as Elisabeth said “it’s like learning!” and it takes a genuine amount of effort to actually follow anything.

There are a large amount of men in uniforms here. I’ve figured out which ones are the police, but the other, like, 5 are still a mystery to me. They have badges or seals or something on the sides of their arms, but don’t say anything. Are they training to be policemen? Are they like park rangers (unlikely, because there are no parks here or endangered animals, unless the rabid cats count)? Should I avoid them like I avoid the police? Right now I just see them as a sign of Russian bureaucracy, which is always to be avoided. I will update more as the mystery unfolds.

I'm sorry these posts are so long.

What I do is I write them in Word when I'm in my room, and then just copy paste them. So one entry usually spans a couple of days (or more like a day and a half). Also a lot of it is just my ramblings and observations, not really all that exciting.

So, whenever I don’t know how to say something in Russian, I either a) just write the English word, but in Cyrillic, or b) somehow create a verb (from an English verb or noun) by adding the ending –овать. This is really not at all humorous (though it is effective), but it never ceases to amuse me. For example, yesterday in Café Fiesta Sonya met some Russian guy (who was also using the free wi-fi, the first actual Russian I’ve ever heard of doing that-most of the time it’s all of the foreigners), and he said that we should all meet up with his friends tonight. Unfortunately, he still has yet to text Sonya. I told her this was unfortunate, because I so wanted to клубовать (from the Russian word клуб, or club, and the verb ending –овать, successfully creating a Russian verb from English words-the verb meaning “to go clubbing”. This is actually true, as the verbs “plan-ovat” (to plan), “reccomendir-ovat” (to recommend), and other such verbs are actually verbs in Russian). The moral of the story is, I was actually laughing out loud as I wrote клубовать, and am still stumped as to why the forming of fake Russian verbs is so hilarious to me. This is a joke that never seems to get old.

Also, it’s probably a good idea that we aren’t going clubbing, seeing as this is something I’ve never done in the US, and not really something I would ever want to do ever. I have neither the clothes nor the attitude for clubbing. Also I’ve never been out of the apartment after dark (let’s not lie, after dinner even), and am not really planning on starting now.

The other day in Baikal class we learned that the Siberians used to ride moose (as a side note I really, really, really dislike the fact that the plural of moose is, indeed, moose. I always feel as if I’m speaking incorrectly when I refer to moose in the plural). If I’m not mistaken, they were used for both domestic and military purposes. Of course, we easily could be mistaken (which is common, and much more likely than us actually understanding the lecture). I think this is fantastic. We also discussed other animals in Baikal. When he asked us what something was, Eddie would put his hands behind his head and illustrate what the animal’s ears, or antlers, looked like in order to convey the meaning. This is also something that never ceases to be funny. Actually, our inability to speak Russian never really ceases to be funny. When I think about it I laugh, therefore I try not to think about it in class; however, it is most apparent when I’m in class. It’s an awful cycle, really.

My host mother and daughter (also Natasha, but she doesn’t live with us) left for China yesterday. They will be returning next Saturday (I think?) but I’ll still be on our group trip to Ulan-Ude. I was (not going to lie) quite relieved, thinking that this meant I wouldn’t have to eat as much. I was sorely mistaken. My 25 year old host sister, Nadya, feeds me just as much and tells me just as frequently how poorly I eat. I have, in fact, started lying and telling them that I eat gigantic lunches every day after class when, in fact, I don’t. I need to keep this in check, however, because I don’t want them to think that I’m eating out because I don’t want to eat their food. It’s really quite good, just not in hulk-sized portions.

Alex Gym is being renovated. I went yesterday and the main desk is now at the top of the steps. (I don’t know if I mentioned that the first day Sonya and I tried to go we actually ended up leaving without going in because we couldn’t find the door. It turned out it was where all the construction was taking place. We thought, “this can’t possibly be the door to the gym.” It was. Anyway, onward.) Everything is being ripped apart. In the time it took me to work out (approximately one hour) an entire wall was torn down. Also when I first arrived Sasha #1 gave me this look as if he was really confused, pointed to the tanning bed (as in, is that why you’re here?) and then I think something clicked and he understood. In fact, the first day we went to buy passes they gave us very strange looks for about 5 seconds and then realized that we were not, in fact, Russians. I guess only foreign girls work out at Alex Gym? Who knows. All of the Russian guys that I have seen working out there are strangely lanky and do all kinds of weird exercises. One of my worst habits is judging people in the gym. When I’m working out I’m always self conscious about whether or not someone is watching me and thinking “Oh my God, I’m currently looking at the most unathletic girl ever.” A) I know this is not true b) I am that person. I watch people in the gym and judge them based on how they’re exercising. This makes me both a hypocrite and a horrible person.

The treadmill is still awful, but I’m pretty sure if I can master it it’ll get me into good shape (since running on it is, like, impossible). Actually, Sonya mastered the treadmill on the first day and made it look easy. She is a runner and in much better shape than I am, but I really need to work on not being so pathetic.

My host sister just pointed out that the cartoon Ice Age is on TV. I am beyond thrilled. I’m pretty sure she thinks I’m like four, because a) I speak Russian like a four year old and b) I have a strange obsession with cartoons.

I had my first “culture shock” moment yesterday. I was sort of wondering when it was going to happen and just waiting for it. I was coming back from the gym and supposed to meet Lyonya and Eddie at the movies at 3:30. Well, I ended up sitting on the marshrutka for an absurdly long time, and by the time I got off at my stop it was already 3:25. The original plan was me to go back to my apartment, have tea, and have my host mother explain where the theatre was located. I figured I’d just go straight to the theatre (as I didn’t want to drink tea or eat more), so I called her and let her know that. She completely freaks out, telling me she’s coming to meet me in the middle of the street or something. She then insists that I come back. Upon my return, I tell her that I’m supposed to meet Lyonya like, now, and she tells me that I still have time because the movie doesn’t start till four and I can make it there in 10 mins. She then forces me to drink tea and refuses to let me leave until I’ve finished all of it. Getting her to not make me eat was maybe the hardest thing ever. I lied and told her that after the gym I can’t eat for awhile or else I’ll get sick. I don’t know where the logic in that statement is but she seemed to accept it. I then had to walk very quickly in the rain, while my calves hurt from working out (the calf situation has not improved any in the last 8 months) and splattering mud all over the back of my just cleaned pair of jeans. I also hate being late, and it was taking me significantly more than 10 mins to get there. I also didn’t get to stop at the ATM, which I needed to do. I realize that none of this is actually a big deal, there are things much worse than being forced to drink tea and being only 3 minutes early, as opposed to 30. I suppose my patience had just worn thin and my newly found lack of independence became especially apparent to me.

Anyway, we saw the movie Mongol. It was good and had little dialogue, making it very understandable. I thought it was quite good and artistic. Right now Natasha’s cat, Jesse, is rolling all over my foot. Natasha brought her over last night. She’ll be staying with us while they’re in China. Chucha was in heat last week, and now Karrina and Jesse are in heat right now. Although Karrina is much more lovable and not biting and clawing all the time, she and Jesse are really quite loud.

Not that I expected Ray Romano to be able to speak Russian, but something is definitely not right about “Ice Age” when Ray Romano is not the giant woolly mammoth.

So, my host mother and sister are in China. Nadya has spoken with them on the phone 8 times since they left 24 hours ago. That’s an average of once every three hours. Twice before the flight left (after she returned from the airport with them), and then 6 times today. If I had that much contact with someone, I think I’d be homicidal (which is why I am completely antisocial and will never be able to handle any level of relationship with someone that requires me being with them for more than a few short hours of the day). They are going to China for a week and have already spoken 8 times. I am living in Russia for five months and have spoken with my parents on the phone twice. Maybe three times. To each his own, I suppose.

So, this is an absurd concern, I realize, but still significant (I think). I don’t have eye makeup remover, so whenever I remove my mascara I sort of try to strip it from my eyelashes without getting it all over my face and looking like a raccoon. However, every once in awhile I pull out some eyelashes. I’m afraid that I’m going to do this so often that soon I won’t have any. I am thinning my herd of eyelashes. Can that happen? How quickly do they grow back? Mom, I know you and the entire Independence Surgery Center are reading this. Please ask the closest medical hair growth professional and report back.

So, Russian television. Have I talked about this already? I’ve probably already talked about Tatianin Den (where there are two Tatianas, in love with one Sergei, lots of crying, and a plot that includes prison, illegitimate children, and attempts to poison Tatiana to death). In the morning I watch music videos, because I figured this would be my best link to Russian music. This was an incorrect assumption, as most of the time they play American music videos by groups and singers that are not very good. One of the music videos had a bunch of people in a hotel and 3 rappers having a dance-off in the hallway with 3 cartoon characters (like, the people in the suits at Disney World). I decided that soccer would be a good choice, as it is not absurd, and can be watched in any language.

Also Sonya just told me that Alex Gym no longer has a place to change or shower (well, for the girls anyway). She had to change in the tanning bed room. I want to go, but that’s more or less very discouraging.

I think I found a mainstream class. It’s this class on Russian history. All of us Middleburians are in it together (as we are required to find a mainstream class). The professor said that she has American students coming to her every year (probably because she’s on a list of recommended professors). There is no exam. We understood about 4% of the lecture. Ivan, Eddie, and Sonya were really ambitious and tried to take notes at first. Their notes consist of a number of dates and words with question marks, not really connected to anything. I just tried to listen and understand. Then I played sudoku. All of the Russian students were talking and laughing and passing notes, as well as taking short breaks to stare at us. Since in the Russian universities they have “groups”, where one group is basically a major and takes all the same classes (therefore they are together all the time), it is blatantly obvious when there are new people in the class. They spent a long time staring at us. We spent a moderate amount of time staring back. It doesn’t really help that we squished all four of us into the desk/bench that is meant for absolutely no more than 3 (I am in fact the one to blame, as I was the last one to squish in, and insisted that we stick together). I’m also still looking at a math class. It all depends on what will count as credits at Middlebury. If I can take math as a distribution requirement, I’ll probably take that mainstream class. But if I do that, I’ll want to keep Siberian History to count it towards the history major. The mainstream class could probably also count towards my major, but then I wouldn’t have the distribution requirement. I’m really undecided about whether or not I want to drop Siberian History or Russian Film. Granted, both of these do sound very interesting, but…not so much. We have a lot of reading in history, which means I spend a ridiculous amount of time translating text that I could read in 15 mins if I had it in English. This is information that I could easily read and absorb in English, and it’s not really helping my Russian skills to just sit for hours on end translating words like “woolly mammoth” and “nomad”. This time could be much better spent, well, interacting with Russians. On the other hand, our film professor works exclusively with international students, and I think he thinks that we don’t understand anything at all. He gives us these handouts to read that literally go scene by scene and explain the whole movie. He then spends AT LEAST an hour going one by one and explaining them all over again, after we’ve already read them and understand what’s going on. We then sit there and watch the movie, and are not at all motivated to pay close attention because a) we already know what happens and b) we don’t really understand that much at all. The first film we watched was three hours long and one of the more painful experiences of my life. The next film we’re watching is Sobache Sertze (Heart of a Dog), which we watched in summer school (where Svetlana Igorovna would stop the film literally every 30 seconds to ask us what they just said. When we didn’t know (which was always), we watched it again), makes me want to fake my own death in the next 48 hours.

The cats are at war. Karrina and Chucha usually get along fairly well, but then there’s this new cat here, so I guess the friendly balance is thrown off and now they’re all fighting with each other. Chucha just attacked Jesse, and Jesse flew off of this armchair (like literally 20 seconds ago). I’ve never seen a cat so airborne. Also one of them peed on my bed last night (I would say Jesse, but Karrina has been fairly territorial over my room). That was less than pleasant.

Also I saw a pack of rabid cats today on my way to the cafe. That only happens like, once a week.

This post is not really worth reading.

Hopes for when I return from Russia:

That I will be able to speak Russian relatively well.

Fears about when I return from Russia:

I will be 20 lbs heavier, with bad fashion sense and an awful taste in music.

Yesterday I heard “Show me the Meaning of Being Lonely” by the Backstreet Boys on the radio. Was that even ever on the radio in the US?

Last night I organized all of my music on iTunes. That was actually a really good way to relax. I had been feeling like my life was a bit disordered. In class we talked about plans and schedules and the like (and verbs like “to deviate from plans” or “to make plans” or “to stick to plans”). Everyone else talked about how they didn’t really like to have plans or schedules or anything, and then our professor asked if there was anyone that DID like plans and schedules…yes. That would be me. The moral of the story is, organizing is one of my favorite activities, and lack of organization makes me “bezspokoitsya” (the verb “to become anxious” or, literally, “to be without calmness”).

We also talked about laws in our other class (don’t think that this was like an ultra complicated subject, we were in fact learning how to say “don’t carry that purse, it’s too heavy” and deviated from the subject matter). We were going to go to an island on Baikal this weekend with the other international students but couldn’t because they left early on Friday morning and we had class. I was totally ready to skip and go anyway, but that wasn’t so much possible. Our professor was like “aha, you Americans and your rules…but, you all follow the rules, and that’s probably why your country is first in the world.” Anyhow.

More things worth mentioning

My host mother bought lemons, so I now drink tea with lemon (which I've always liked, and prefer it to tea with sugar). She then told me that I should eat the lemon because it's good for me. Again, I'm willing to eat anything that is a fruit or a vegetable at this point, but I think any health benefits I gain from said lemon are drowned out by the 2 teaspoons of sugar I need to put on each lemon slice in order to eat it. I guess we'll find out.

Today in class we talked about our trip to Arshan. I'm pretty sure Elisabeth was not thrilled when we talked about meeting strange buryatii men who claimed to be both some sort of llama as well as a Russian-English translator (yet didn't know English). Anyway, I forgot to add this tidbit to my Arshan story, and it's for sure one of the best parts:

So when we woke up the 2nd morning, Baba Zina picked up the phone (presumably calling her neighbor, or someone). This is all translated from Russian, as she does not speak English. Also the strong Buryat accent is hard to convey over the internet.
"Ah? Yes? You still looking for your cow? Still haven't found it? It didn't come home last night?" And various other things.
Five minutes later, she calls again.
"Ah! Aya! Your cow is here! Come get her!"

As I reread this, I realize that this conversation was 15 times better in Russian, but I guess...just imagine that you all understand Russian, as well as the humor of this situation.

Okay, random thoughts

I saw my first Russian car accident the other day (they aren't any different than regular car accidents). 10 minutes later, I saw my second Russian car accident. With the way people drive over here, you would think that I would have seen at least 20 already. As in, New York drivers have nothing on Irkutsk drivers.

Today in my classes I, again, understood nothing. In Siberian history we were talking about something, and different sizes of settlements (or something). I learned that if you have a big square with circles around the corners, and there are more than four little squares (bashens) inside of the big square, it is no longer an ostrov, but a gorodok. This makes as much sense to me as it does to all of you. On the plus side, in Baikal today we talked about riding moose across the Taiga.

I read Eddie's blog entry and started laughing out loud. The jam water is true. But my host family's jam water is really good, where as Eddie's I guess isn't? Dunno. I'm still eating way too much and can't stop them from feeding me. I think my host mother knows how to do it. See, I don't want to refuse fruit, because it's so rare that I'll eat any that I feel like I can't turn down the opportunity to get some vitamins. I'm pretty much on a strict diet of meat and carbohydrates (yesterday our entire dinner was potatoes. And then we had pirashki, which is like meat inside of bread. Good, but I could really go for some fruits and vegetables). So then, like an hour AFTER dinner, she offers me an apple and some grapes. Ugh.

So Sonya and I found a gym. It's called Alex Gym, and there are 2 Sashas and a Yulia there. All very nice. Sasha 1 was really excited we were there and started talking to us in broken english, but sometimes still declining nouns (such as "yes! You student save ten bucksov!"). He then wanted to know if we wanted to work out, like, immediately, which we politely declined seeing as we were in pants, sweaters, and dress shoes. So yesterday (or Tuesday, rather) we went for the first time. I rode the bike for awhile. Fine. Sonya was on the treadmill. Then we switched.

So, I'm not the greatest runner to begin with (especially since I haven't run in like months), but this is just a ridiculous apparatus. First of all, it's on an incline, and doesn't go by itself. It's sort of like a hamster treadmill, because you have to run to get it to move, but you can't just run regularly. You have to hold onto the sides, sort of lean forward, and propel yourself. It's the hardest thing I've ever done. I feel like I'm running up a 45 degree incline, in water, with 20 pound sandbags on my back (of course, this could just be all the extra meat and potatoes I've been eating).

Do I talk about food a lot here? Because 70% of my days here are also spent talking about food.

Today we had lunch in this cafe where the girls wear sailor outfits and they have ridiculous techno music playing. Today we heard the techno remix of "The First Noel" (no joke, or some other Christmas song like it), as well as a song about a girl comparing her life to the Vietnam war.

yesterday we went to visit lyonya, which was excellent, and something I hope to do more often. We also talked about our baikal class, which was really quite amusing. Our baikal professor has this half mustache (Eddie says it's like a catfish). His face is completely shaved except for like right above his upper lip. It's the strangest thing I've ever seen and I don't really know what to make of it. I can't look at him for too long without laughing. Also he goes on and on and on and then asks if we have any questions, there are these long awkward pauses, and when he realizes we don't understand, he goes through the whole thing again without really explaining anything. He does, however, explain words such as "history" and different rivers. The other day he asked us some question about animals and we answered "Medved" (Bear. A typical, safe response.) To which he responded "Da. Po-Anglisskii (yes, in english) 'Bear'". Yes, thank you. We naturally understand all of the minor details about the sediment on the bottom of Baikal, but are stumped as to what a "medved" is. Did I already explain this? It's worth explaining again.

I also forgot to talk about Eddie's notebooks, which are fantastic. When I first saw them I didn't think anything of them (this being Russia) but after some consideration, came to the conclusion that they are absolutely ridiculous. One of them has a picture of a bunch of acorns and says "Forest Nut". The other says "Rope" and has various possible arrangements of a piece of rope. Another has a truck on it. And one says "Motor Lady" with some girl next to a motorcycle in like, a sweater.

Pictures soon to come.

Where Natasha, Sonya, Edik, Ivan, Yoseph, and Elissa go to Arshan with minimal problems

So, we decided on Friday afternoon that we would go to Arshan for the weekend. It’s about 5 hours away by bus (4 by marshrutka). We left on the bus at 10 the next morning with way too much food (my host mother made an entire pizza. She also gave me instant potato powder, some sort of Russian version of ramen, tomatoes, cucumbers, cookies, half a loaf of bread (evidently “a small piece” in fact means “half a loaf”), cheese, kielbasa, Russian candy (which honestly…is not very good), and what else? I simply cannot remember. But there was a lot). There were times when the bus would be going up a hill slowly…and slower…and then completely stop before starting up again. This was worrisome.

But we stopped somewhere with a great view of Baikal and finally made it to Arshan around 3. Literally the second I stepped off the bus I was faced with this strange Buryati babushka, and the following conversation took place:

Babushka: Надо жить? (Literally, “need to live?” but really more like, “need a place to stay?”)

Natalie: Извените? (Excuse me?)

Babushka: Надо жить?

Natalie: Um…..дa. (ummm….yes.)

Babushka: Сколько? (How many?)

Natalie: Шесть. (six)

Babushka: hmmmmmm……можно. Давайте со мной. (hmmmm…..okay. Come with me.)

And then we trekked through this little village and this dirt path with rocks everywhere and a little stream and the largest number of cows I have ever seen in my life (and I’m from Ohio. We have many cows.) Ivan at first thought they were rocks. We were not really sure what was happening but we ended up at this woman’s house and she offered us beds for 200 rubles each (about $8) and we accepted, although still were not entirely sure how we ended up at this strange woman’s house in the middle of nowhere surrounded by cows. We ate some of the ridiculous amount of food we had (homemade pizza, cookies, some sort of cheese spread, kielbasa, more cheese, bread, cucumbers, tomatoes, Eddie’s host mother gave him eggs and potatoes, some sort of jelly filled things, and waaaaay more). We were then wandering the streets of Arshan hoping we could find a driver to take us to the hot springs. These two sketchy looking Russian men asked us if we needed to go anywhere, and we told him we were looking to go to the hot springs (at this point it was almost 3:30 and most drivers had stopped for the day). He offered to take us for 1,500 rubles (about $60). We would be driven there, have two hours, and then be driven back. But Joseph said that our babushka (Baba Zina) told us it was usually about 100-150 rubles each. So we told them that it was way too expensive, and we were looking for something more like 800 or 1000. And he said no less than 1200. So we said we’d go tomorrow and walked away…and after about 30 seconds he called “okay, 1000” and we went. I was very proud of us. Ivan (sketchy Russian Marshrutka Man) soon became our best link to transportation around Arshan and to Irkutsk. He gave us his phone number and everything (not as in a “call me” sort of way, but more as a “if you need a marshrutka, call me” sort of way).

The hot springs were okay. We were literally in this rock pool with a bunch of people. It was fun though. But it was also cold, and raining, so we left after an hour. This guy that was in the marshrutka with us was talking to us about America and said the only American films he had seen were “7” and “Training Day,” and clearly all of his assumptions about America were based off of those two movies. We tried to explain that America was not like Hollywood, but it didn’t really work. He also told us technology was going to take over our world and turn it into the world in “Robo-cop”.

When we returned we were running around trying to find the “Sayan Café” while it was pouring, and finally found some little café diner thing across the street from this sanitorium (where we ended up multiple times while trying to find things. Everything in there was this strangish blue color and really quite creepy. We ended up there like three times, I’m not entirely sure how). But we ended up in this nice little café. I ordered Pozi (the national Buryatii food), which were very good. Susanna and Eddie did too (or rather, Eddie thought he did and actually didn’t, but we had enough for all three of us so it was okay). They also had blini and all kinds of other great things.

When I went to the bathroom, I came back to find no one at our table, and freaked out thinking our stuff was all alone. What had, in fact happened, was that these two strange, verrry drunk buryatii men wanted us to sit with them at there table. So, we did, sort of. There wasn’t enough room and this woman at the table behind them had all this bench space and told me I could sit there to be with everyone else (the tables were fairly close together with benches, so I was right behind the group). I then turned around to say thank you before going back to our table and she said something to the extent of “you come (talk) to us now.” They were very nice and immediately gave me this bread/meat thing, which I didn’t want to eat because…um…it wasn’t mine. We talked a little bit and the two parents introduced me to their son Sasha (Alexander) who was obviously not so thrilled to meet me. They then again insisted that I eat this bread/meat thing, so I tried a small piece and then said I really should get back to my table, especially because our food had arrived. They told me to take the bread with me, and then offered me vodka. It was all a very strange situation and I don’t think they liked me very much when I left to go back to my table. Sonya and I ate the bread thing though, because I felt bad refusing their very numerous offers. They were pretty insistent. But we sat with the strange Buryatii men, strange events ensued, and finally returned to our little room about an hour later.

When we came back no one was home and the door was locked, so we freaked out a little bit. We had already paid, all of our stuff was inside, and it was starting to get dark out. Thankfully though some woman saw us, and then some little boy came over to unlock the door for us. Eddie, being brilliant as always, then convinced the мальчик (boy) to lock the door once we were inside. This evidently took a lot of effort, because he could not understand why Eddie wanted to be locked inside of the house (this is beyond our comprehension as well). But, finally, he did, and when Elissa tried to exit the house and couldn’t, Eddie had to somehow summon the мальчик through the window and get him to now unlock the door. I think he thought we were crazy. I probably would have as well.

Later Baba Zina gave us hot water for tea and a bunch of little potatoes. But she wanted to put Elissa and Ivan in this other little building to sleep which was really, really cold, so they ended up coming back with the rest of us. Eddie and Joseph said they would sleep on the floor, so they made this whole little bed thing (we tried to hide it from Baba Zina though, because Russians have this thing against the floor). We stayed up for awhile and talked, played cards, ate, etc. We were terrified that Baba Zina was going to freak out when she found that Elissa and Ivan were not in the little shack outside and that Joseph and Eddie were on the floor, but she didn’t. Everything ended up okay.

The next day we went to see the waterfalls, which took forever to find. Sort of looked like Texas Falls. They also had this colored ribbons around all these trees…I still don’t know what that was for. We went back to the little café, where Ivan ordered “tasty soup” and they somehow knew what he was talking about. They remembered us from the day before. Before meeting our friend Ivan for the marshrutka, we went to a sauna. Nice, but not as fun as the banya.

When our marshrutka driver dropped us off we were definitely NOT at the train station we left from. We had no idea where we were and it was completely dark out. The marshrutka driver ended up taking Sonya to her stop, and told the three malchiki (guys) which marshrutka they needed. But Elissa and I needed to cross the river, so we waited for a marshrutka going to the center area, didn’t find one, so called a taxi. The driver was really really nice. He didn’t overcharge us or anything (which we were afraid of) and said the whole ride (to Elissa’s stop and to my stop) was only 100 rubles (about $4).

The whole adventure was crazy. But really really fun. Next weekend I think Sonya and Elissa and I are going on this three day/two night trip to some island on Baikal with the other international students in our department (Koreans, Europeans, and us-three groups). It should be really great, and we’ll get to meet other people.

OH! Also, Middlebury was on Russian television. I’m not exactly sure what they were talking about. It was either history, film, or historical moments in film. But at any rate, Middlebury was definitely on TV. I saw our main road and frog hollow and everything.

Fri, sept. 18th

I still have a cold. I am still afraid to tell my host family. However, I think I’m feeling a bit better than yesterday. I still have a headache and I’m a bit stuffed up, but on the whole better. I’m really very tired. I’m back at home, alone, which is nice. I need time to unwind after class where I don’t really have to think (in any language). Mama Olya left me a package of hot chocolate on the table, which pretty much made my day. I also got off at the right marshrutka stop today, which is a plus. I

I finished watching Wallace and Gromit in Russian. I quite enjoyed it, the only thing is with Wallace and Gromit a lot of the humor comes from plays on words and funny accents. They did still have the funny accents, even in Russian, which was exciting. Right now I’m watching Vinnie-Pooh. The Russian version is better than the English version. Vonderful.

Soon I have to go back into town and give Elisabeth my Travel Notification form, because we’re going to Arshan for the weekend. Going to be very exciting. Except Elisabeth sent us this text message about something dangerous there that we have to watch out for. Snakes and something else. When I feel like translating the text message, I’ll know. I really really reaaaaally don’t feel like going into town though. I’m too tired.

Weds, Sept. 12

I have to apologize, because when I write these blog entries I’m basically ignoring all rules of grammar and organized English as a whole. This is совсем (completely) stream of consciousness writing.

It is obscenely difficult to find a razor in Irkutsk. I have been to about 6 different аптеки (drug stores) and none of them carry razors. They have hair removal cream (like Nair), but do not carry razors. I found one аптека that carried razor heads (which I already have) but not the actual razor handle. The hunt continues. Until then, I wear pants in the 80 degree heat.

I saw another иностранец (foreigner) in Café Fiesta today. He, however, was very obviously a foreigner. He was wearing some sort of straw hat, had a backpack with a Moscow Domoedovo airport tag, and was carrying a computer. We didn’t chat, but I wanted to say hi. It’s very exciting to find other foreigners. He must have know I was a foreigner…I had my computer (which only the foreigners have their laptops in Café Fiesta…but they have free wi-fi, so it’s worth the strange looks from angry Russians), and I don’t think I really look Russian. Sometimes it’s hard to tell, but I wasn’t wearing the shoes. The shoes are a dead giveaway. I had my heavy, clunky black shoes on as opposed to heels or ballet flats (I did try to wear heels a couple of days ago and almost died. I will be waiting awhile until I do that again). On the other hand, I’ve had a number of Russians ask me various questions about things, either in the café or on the street. That is, until they hear me answer in some jumble of incomprehensible words with my thick American accent. Some of them try to ask again before I can convince them that I am completely unable to help. However, I suppose it means that I appear to be someone who is capable of speaking the language, which is somewhat of a compliment I guess.

I currently have a cold, but don’t want to tell my host family for fear that I’ll be constantly fed and covered in vodka all night long. My host mother swears that vodka cures everything. She said her leg hurt the other day, so she rubbed some vodka on it, and everything was better. I am not convinced, and do not wish to experience this. The other thing that makes everything better is food. I would like to just watch Винни-Пух, drink lots of tea, and go to sleep. However, I many a sentence to write using verbs of motion (for example, the verb to herd in front, such as a sheep farmer). I also have to write a mini essay about something. The problem is not the subject (seeing is not necessarily believing), the problem is really more that it’s in Russian.

Longest entry ever

So, I haven’t updated since I’ve been here so I guess I’ll go ahead and do that…

We flew into Ulan-Ude because there was a bunch of fog in Irkutsk. I didn’t really understand anything, and thought we had landed in Irkutsk and was about to have a panic attack (not really). So we ended up hanging out in the Ulan-Ude airport for awhile before heading off to Irkutsk again. Massive problems with communication-many variations of what we thought happened:

Elisabeth had been sleeping, and thought that they were kidding, or that we had boarded the wrong plane.

I thought we were in Irkutsk.

Eddie thought the plane was making a stop, the way buses or trains do.

Sonya understood everything that was going on. When she asked me if I understood, I again thought she was making some sort of reference to Irkutsk.

But we finally got to Irkutsk (at like 1 PM after having not slept in forever), met our host families, went to our respective apartments, unpacked a bit, and then met at Elisabeth’s apartment for some more orientation. I should add, again, that I had gone like 4 days with about 10 hours of sleep. Actually more like 3 days, but that’s not important. We talked about all of the various dangers of Irkutsk (Eddie likening the city to a video game, where we have to get through various levels without dying), and other important safety matters. Various ways to die include:

Trafficking drugs and being stuck in a Russian prison;

Having the police set you up to commit a crime, getting your fingerprints on incriminating evidence, and then being stuck in a Russian prison;

Stepping on a loose manhole cover and boiling to death;

Being killed by falling ice;

Gypsy cabs;

And other such things.

What we failed to talk about, however, were the Marshrutkas, which I’m fairly sure can and will kill somebody. The way they work is that there are about 150 different cab numbers, with various numbers of cabs for each number. They technically have a route with a number of stops, but the route there and the route back can be different-for example, I can go from my stop to the university on marshrutka 64, but coming back from the university I can’t because it doesn’t stop there and goes a different way. Also, sometimes the drivers won’t stop at certain stops if they don’t feel like it, so if you want them to stop you have to scream the name of your stop, while three rows of Russians turn around and judge you because of your American accent. The roads also have either no lines or just a white dotted line in the middle, which I’m pretty sure is more of a suggestion than an actual road divider. While you would think that only 2 cars can fit on each side of the road, the marshrutkas manage to weave in and out of cars in ways you think impossible. The other day I was coming home from somewhere, and my marshrutka pulled out to pass someone-but there was minimal room between the next car and a giant truck in front of that car. There was also a parked car ahead. I was pretty sure we were going to die, and then magically we appeared in front of the car and behind the truck in a space that must have just magically opened up.

Our classes are okay, except that our professor for Baikal Studies talks really quickly and we can’t understand what he’s saying. Then he asks us a question and there are very uncomfortable and long pauses before he says “okay…” and moves on. We finally resorted to playing a guessing game about animals at the end of the last class. We also don’t have a textbook or anything, so it’s not like I can use that to reference what he said in class. My notes consist of a word followed by a question mark, or a number and then a “what does that mean?” or a date, and then a “what happened then?” Pretty sad. We did, however, learn how to say “a safe place for Nerpi”. We still need to find mainstream classes too, which is going to be a nightmare. I’m pretty sure that starts tomorrow.

Other than all of that, Irkutsk is a pretty standard city. I actually like it a lot. There are way more American products here than I thought, which is interesting. There’s a Subway and lots of English everywhere. It’s sort of like America in the 90s. Enrique Inglesias is really popular, I’ve heard the songs “Coco Jumbo”, “Total Eclipse of the Heart”, and “Crazy” on the radio, “Flipper” was on TV, high speed internet is a relatively new phenomenon, etc. Actually, it’s not really like America at all. Everywhere you go you have to ask for what you want instead of bringing it up to the cashier, because it’s all behind locked glass cabinets. I am deathly afraid of the police and medical care. What else? I don’t even know.

We went to Baikal on Friday, which was fantastic. We first went to this outdoor museum with all kinds of ancient Buryatii/Mongolian (I think?) architecture. It was really very interesting and cool. At least, I think it was interesting, except we didn’t completely understand our tour guide. This situation worsened as she continued to demand that we ask questions, and when we failed to, scolded us for either sleeping, being bored, not caring, or being sad. Our anxieties about asking questions included:

Not knowing if it was a stupid question.

Asking something that she had already talked about (possibly multiple times).

Not knowing how to translate what we wanted to ask.

Simply not having any good questions.

It was a fairly uncomfortable situation. The 2^nd museum was also interesting, and thankfully there were a few other Russians on the tour, so they could ask questions and we could pretend we understood. It was a museum about Baikal, full of maps and containers of fish and stuffed animals. They also had aquariums. I thought all of the fish were really very interesting, but the highlight was definitely the Nerpi (plural of Nerpa). It was sad to see them in the aquarium, but they look like fun and interesting animals. I actually bought a small nerpa keychain in Listvianka (the village we were visiting), mainly because it was the only way I could get change for a 500 ruble bill. I like it very much though.

Our next stop was the banya, which was even better than I remembered the banya being the first time I went. For those of you who don’t know, the banya is like a sauna house. You get in your bathing suits (or just without clothes, which is I guess what you’re normally supposed to do, but we don’t) and enter this wooden house. It’s very hot. And smells very good. Then there’s a smaller room which is about 500 degrees, with a bunch of very hot rocks. You pour water on the hot rocks and steam yourself nearly to death. I actually thought I would stop breathing and was going to die, but I didn’t run out because I remembered that last time, when I thought I was dying, everything ended up being okay. The first two minutes are the worst. Anyway, so you sit in there and steam yourself and sweat about as much in 2 minutes as you would on a hour long run and complain about how hot it is, then run out and jump into Baikal (or the snow, if it’s winter, or any other body of water). You then repeat the process about 60,000 times until your banya time is up. During this whole time we also drank tea (which is basically what happens when you do anything in Russia). I’ve heard that this whole experience is better with vodka. AH! I almost forgot to add the best part. When you’re in the steaming sauna room, one person lays down face first on a towel, and you beat each other with birch branches. It’s supposed to make all of the bad things in your body come out through your skin. I don’t really know how to convey how excellent this whole process is. I think we will be returning on Sunday.

We then ate at a restaurant with a waitress who hated us because there were 10 of us and we didn’t speak Russian. They offered us the English menu and we declined, but then proceeded to ask her about 15,000 questions as to what something actually was.

On Sunday I gathered mushrooms in the woods at my host family’s dacha. It reminded me of the fairy tale “Masha and the Mushrooms” (Tolstoy, I believe), where Masha spills all of her mushrooms on the railroad tracks while a train was approaching. Her sister is yelling “leave the mushrooms!” but all she can hear is “the mushrooms!” and is frantically gathering as the train approaches. I don’t actually remember whether or not she gets run over, but seeing as it’s a Russian fairy tale, I’m pretty sure she does.

Still trying to find a fitness center. This is frustrating because, this being Russia, they have all kinds of rules and stipulations. First off, it’s pretty expensive. Second, they have all these strange rules after you’ve bought your monthly pass. At one gym, the monthly pass is good for 10 hours (this includes showering). Who works out for 10 hours a month? (Or, actually, less than that, because you have to shower too). Others you can only go 2-3 times per week, and no more than an hour each time (again, includes showering). And they really don’t like it if you leave without showering. I find this problematic, because they also don’t like it when you go anywhere with wet hair. Also when it’s 20 below, you probably don’t want to go anywhere with wet hair. I need to either invest in a hair dryer, wait at the fitness center while my hair dries, leave without showering, or find some other solution. This is quite the problem, and both I and the problem are rapidly increasing in size as my host family continues to feed me more than I can manage, and then yells at me and tells me how poorly I eat when I don’t eat enough to feed a family of twelve.

Eddie and I were in a CD store the other day and raving about how cheap the prices were. Eddie bought a Beatles album for like eight dollars (in the states its like 30), and I bought 3 DVDs for less than $5 each (Vinnie-Pooh (or the Russian Winnie the Pooh), Delai Nogy (Happy Feet), and Wallace and Gromit…In Russian). This is fantastic. Then we were talking and Eddie was like “This is great! Um…but do you think they’re pirated?” and I was like “No, of course not! This is an actual CD and DVD store! They can’t sell pirated discs here!” This, of course, was a stupid comment, because a) this is Russia and b) I should have been tipped off by the one DVD with 14 Disney movies on it. I then returned home and showed my host sisters, who then proceeded to tell me that Russia too has expensive DVDs, they just happen to be legal, where as the ones I bought are not. So now my dilemma is: Do I continue to buy DVDs and CDs knowing that they’ve been pirated? And moreover, if I do, will I be able to take them out of the country with me? Will I be arrested? If not, I plan on buying like 18,000 DVDs and CDs. Oh, I also should have known they were pirated because what kind of company puts of a “Best of Meg Ryan” DVD with like 6 of her films?

Other interesting notes:

Russians have a way of taking a very healthy concept-such as a salad-and making it disgustingly unhealthy. For example, most of the time when you order a salad, you read the ingredients and think “yes! This is great! All kinds of fruits, vegetables, etc…” but then you realize that all of these fruits and vegetables are actually drenched in mayonnaise, which they failed to mention on the menu. Why? Because it’s a natural assumption that all salads are drenched in mayonnaise. For example, while the “Moscow Salad” sounded quite good, it actually…isn’t. My host mother knows that I don’t love mayonnaise, so she made a salad and said “it’s okay, I used butter instead of mayonnaise.” Butter? On salad? It’s fine.

Whoa. Okay. Finally here.

So, we had some sort of orientation in Moscow before flying to Irkutsk. First of all, in the hotel in Moscow they had signs for everything in Russian, but also in horrible English translations. We had "the macaronis" and "the pork cutting", "an omlet", "the broccolis with gabbage" and other such fantastic signs. I wanted to take a picture but thought that would be weird.

I had to sit in the middle seat of the plane, so didn't get much sleep. There was fog in Irkutsk when we were supposed to land so we had to go to some place across Baikal and stay in their little hanger airport for awhile. They were explaining this on the plane, but naturally I didn't understand it. The guy next to me tried to explain and I sort of understood what he was saying but didn't really process it. I was like "yea, fog, in Irkutsk, okay." Anyway while in Moscow, Irkutsk, and this strange village I bought M&Ms, Sprite, ice cream, and a train ticket. I'm practically set for life.

My host family is very nice. They have two cats. I love both of them, only one of them loves me. I gave them catnip and they seem to be immune to it. Not really sure.

Oh, also while I was getting on the plane for Irkutsk from this strange little village I had my spongebob pillow wrapped up in my peacoat and I was holding it and the woman at the ticket counter asked me if I had a child. Pretty excellent...and awkward.

We discussed many different ways to die in Russia, one of the many was to fall into one of those manholes and boil in sewage. Not so pleasant.

I'll write more later but I need to get home to my host mother before she thinks I died.